Friday, November 21, 2008
How to get rid of it?
This is the most popular question by far that I get. There are many different ways and techniques that can be used. It really depends on what kind you are talking about that we can really pinpoint the best course of action. However, generally speaking, the best way is to replace the habit of performing any rituals that you are doing with a more productive habit that brings happiness into your life, such as a passion.
Question below!
Q.) looking into people,s eyes and talking .i feel uncomfortable and sometimes also unspekable , giving me a fear that the other person may feel bad.
A.) This is natural. The more that you do it, the more comfortable you will be with it! Have no fear, as most of the time, the other person is wondering what you think of them and trying to seek your approval!
A.) This is natural. The more that you do it, the more comfortable you will be with it! Have no fear, as most of the time, the other person is wondering what you think of them and trying to seek your approval!
Question below!
Q.) ahhahah thanks for telling me that all our mouths have more germs than in the toilets. wooooow derek......honestly i\\\\\\\'m feeling so relieved about this germ thing and all that time iwas thinking the opposite about germs that it will harm us to death in the long run! anyway. my brother told me that our mouth have more germs than the sink and i didn\\\\\\\'t believe him until u mention it....ehee...... thank u derek.....at least i know i free from this germ thing about washing my hands over and over !! i now can think about what u saying and shorten the time i wash my hands!!! love u always derek....from moy ..that\\\\\\\'s my chinese name.... bye... at least i know i can move on with my life not thinking about this germ thing will kill me ...if i don\\\\\\\'t wash my hands plenty.... ,i hope this goes for my glasses and body.....does it?
A.) Of course it does!
A.) Of course it does!
Q.) Can it be cured permanently?
A.) Yes, I am living proof of that. There may be times when you may be tempted to backslide, but as long as you use all the tools that you are learning here, it's virtually impossible for you to become an OCD sufferer again, you just know too much and are too equipped to deal with it. I like to compare it to smoking, I quit smoking, then I was still tempted by it, now I am appalled by it, the same thing with OCD.
Q.) how can you stop the phobias?
A.) Facing them one by one is the best way to stop them. You have to not worry about them as much. Well, how do you do that? Notice the way that you react to them when they come up. When you think of them, what kind of thoughts come to your mind? Are you afraid, are you mad? Think about this and notice this. Then what you can do is to try to act a different way. Say next time you get a phobia thought, you can say, no, instead of being afraid, I am going to be happy because this is a fresh opportunity for me to be able to get over this phobia. Now you have a chance to show yourself what you are made of. Don't worry if the first times you try to face your fears, you get really scared. That is natural. But continue until you succeed and use all the other resources on this site to help you on your journey!
Question below!
Q.) Hi, I am spending so much time trying to help someone with anxiety and ocd, I am so stressed out because the person I am trying to help, has no job, self medicates, and just simply won\\\'t listen to me. He gets so irritated when I try to talk to him, like he doesn\\\'t even care how much I have done for him and how much money he spends and doesn\\\'t even work. I just don\\\'t know what to do anymore, how do I help him or make him get help?
A.) Having been in that same situation I can tell you that you have to understand that he does not look at the world the way you do. You can't hold that against him. The world is a scary place to him and he doesn't even know why. You are blessed in that you don't suffer from irrational fears. That you don't get a shock of anxiety in your stomach for no reason. It's very tough for someone to work when they can't even walk down the street without feeling like they are going to die. The best thing you can do is to stop thinking about how you feel and put yourself in their shoes and try to feel what they feel. Only then will you be able to help them. He won't listen to you because you truly haven't put yourself in his shoes. If you did, you would truly understand how hard it must be for him. Having OCD is like being in a wheelchair in your mind. Until you are able to get a hold of it, it basically renders you useless. A person who has OCD already feels useless, then if they have a significant other who just compounds it, it just makes them want to kill themselves.
You need to have patience. If you want to really change others, you gotta change yourself. Stop looking at him as someone you have to change, but look at yourself and figure out how you can change. People respond in kind. If you act frustrated toward him, he will close off and do the same. If you have a shockingly good attitude when he least expects it, he will also act in kind and respond with a shockingly good attitude after a while.
Talk to him and find out if he wants to get better, if he wants to work. If he says he does, do what you can to help him. He will get better much faster if you think about how he feels and he knows that there is at least one person that believes in him.
At the same time, you need to tell him what you are and are not willing to do. Don't help him perform rituals, don't let him talk you into performing any type of ritual. Be there for him, but don't enable him. If he doesn't make any money, don't just keep giving him money. You don't have to let him drain your account. Instead, just be there for him emotionally and tell him that you love him if this is your significant other. That way he knows you are there for him, but that you won't take his crap either!
A.) Having been in that same situation I can tell you that you have to understand that he does not look at the world the way you do. You can't hold that against him. The world is a scary place to him and he doesn't even know why. You are blessed in that you don't suffer from irrational fears. That you don't get a shock of anxiety in your stomach for no reason. It's very tough for someone to work when they can't even walk down the street without feeling like they are going to die. The best thing you can do is to stop thinking about how you feel and put yourself in their shoes and try to feel what they feel. Only then will you be able to help them. He won't listen to you because you truly haven't put yourself in his shoes. If you did, you would truly understand how hard it must be for him. Having OCD is like being in a wheelchair in your mind. Until you are able to get a hold of it, it basically renders you useless. A person who has OCD already feels useless, then if they have a significant other who just compounds it, it just makes them want to kill themselves.
You need to have patience. If you want to really change others, you gotta change yourself. Stop looking at him as someone you have to change, but look at yourself and figure out how you can change. People respond in kind. If you act frustrated toward him, he will close off and do the same. If you have a shockingly good attitude when he least expects it, he will also act in kind and respond with a shockingly good attitude after a while.
Talk to him and find out if he wants to get better, if he wants to work. If he says he does, do what you can to help him. He will get better much faster if you think about how he feels and he knows that there is at least one person that believes in him.
At the same time, you need to tell him what you are and are not willing to do. Don't help him perform rituals, don't let him talk you into performing any type of ritual. Be there for him, but don't enable him. If he doesn't make any money, don't just keep giving him money. You don't have to let him drain your account. Instead, just be there for him emotionally and tell him that you love him if this is your significant other. That way he knows you are there for him, but that you won't take his crap either!
Question below!
Q.) How to realise that you are not going to do something wrong? Why question yourself when you know you will not?
A.) In the Bible Paul talks about doing that which he does not want to do. This is out of old habits that have already been established. Everyone knows it's not the easiest thing to break habits. You may have developed a habit of questioning yourself. You simply need to break the cycle. The next time you go to question yourself, say "NO!" "I don't care!" This honestly, is a really powerful phrase, "I don't care what happens!" Try it, it's liberating!
A.) In the Bible Paul talks about doing that which he does not want to do. This is out of old habits that have already been established. Everyone knows it's not the easiest thing to break habits. You may have developed a habit of questioning yourself. You simply need to break the cycle. The next time you go to question yourself, say "NO!" "I don't care!" This honestly, is a really powerful phrase, "I don't care what happens!" Try it, it's liberating!
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