Your questions answered! :-)

Q.) Son, age 14, diagnosed with OCD since age 7. Has been under control until he hit puberty.

A.) At this young age, I would definitely see a counselor and schedule a doctors appointment to make sure that everything is fine. I would tell you to not let him do rituals and to not enable him to do rituals.


Q.) constant checking of marks on road, paths, walls etc. checking taps checking/worrying about cancer

A.) if you check something, say outloud that you've checked it and don't do it again for at least a half an hour, then resist for an hour and increase the time slowly.

Q.) I have ocd over blood diseases and std\\\'s. I feel like I can catch it from everything or anything. I worry over it all day everyday. email address

A.) There are some things that we cannot definitively control. You have done more than most people have to prevent these things. Sometimes you just have to let go and let God. If you don't give up control, your need for control will control you. If you let go of control and trust God, you will be free.


Q.) I am concerned about ocd and problems in my relationship. I seem to destroy every raltionship I am in because of jealousy, fear of being hurt etc. I also have ocd issues with everyday life, order, cleaning etc, but they do not cause me as much heartache email address

A.) When you are in a relationship, first be in one with someone that you trust. Don't do stalking behavior and don't go through his/her pockets and things looking for numbers. Just trust them knowing that the truth will come out. Do you really want to be with someone you have to keep tabs on? So if you don't display this behavior to yourself, your brain won't be thinking about it as intently and you can spend your time thinking about other things, such as your passion, which could be anything, helping children, swimming, skiiing, whatever! :-)


Q.) Dear Derek, very glad i have found this site!! I am 28 years old now and feel i should have got rid of thei problem earlier, as i have had from when i was young, but this is my problem in short, well hope its short enough!! I constantly regret almost everything i say cause i see the string of many outcomes of what is say, I end up try to reverse what i say, or say something to the person so that this string of unwanted outcomes do not come true!! but when i reverse it again i try to reverse it back! and sometimes keep doing this!I paranoid about the changes that might come out of what i say, that what I say will affect what they say to others and the outcomes of this, that they may affect me in a negative way!! I like to control everything. I can\\\'t tell anyone these negative thoughts because I would feel silly or embarrassed, selfish if i did! The thoughts always persist and reacurr again and again in my mind!! I always seek reassurance from others about what i\\\'ve said but i know if i told them all my thoughts that it would drive them mad!! its like i can\\\'t reassure myself for some reason!!This is very time consuming, and stressful as i spend days contemplating things and often end up staying in the house, cancelling any social things that i have, and find it hard to relax with my family, they don\\\'t know what is wrong with me. When one problem leaves another quickly arrives so i feel that i have not started living yet, when any issues are raised surrounding what i am thinking about come up , i link them to it, i get angry or feel threatened, fearful and even start throwing things around. also i\\\'m scared to give out too much of my contact information and if i do i regret it for ages!! for many reasons i am scared the person i give contact information might know a person i don\\\'t want to be in contact with!! I am scared that any member of my family/friends could bump into or work someone that i don\\\'t like or that has been mean to me in the past, and that they may acutally like them, and that i have to see them again!! that will really hurt!! I am indecisive about everything in my life also, ( as little aseven for example choosing a pasword or username),if i do make a decision, this is on nearly everything, i always think the opposite decision would have been better!! and spend ages asking i myself why i chose this decision, and what it would have like otherwise, for many reasons i am scared the person i give contact information I can never get rid of anything i own cause i think at sometime i will need it, I am also possesive over my valuables, even if i have five hats won\\\'t let sister wear one cause am scared she will lose it or ruin it!! If i lose something i have to turn my whole room upside down as i think it really important to me!! I don\\\'t like change cause i always think i might prefer it how it was before. I can often come across controlling to my family, i would hate my mum and dad to move house, but i also would hate them not moving house because of me, and then i think oh maybe i would like them to move. i don\\\'t like them talking about this I am only happy to out the house or join my family if i am in the perfect mindset, which very rarelly occurs. My family think i am self absorbed and think i want to have this problem, but i really really want to get rid of it as it is causing me a lot of distress, and it really is there i have always been like this since i was young cause i have never fully enjoyed anything i have done!! i find it hard to even go into detail with my problems with you casue they seem so small and unreasonable but for some reason i can\\\'t tell myself that and i wish i could!!! I very much see this as an obessive problem as the thoughts will always linger in my head, and i obsess over them all day!! i will probably feel after i send this that i have not even included enough in this email for you to deal with, but i reckon i have bored you already!! i always see other people as a lot more carefree and i just wish one day i could be like them. The reason i want help is not only be less stressed but also so i can give more to my family and so as i take a bigger part in this world. I would very much appreciate help!! thanks. email -

A.) The biggest problem here is your attempt to control everything in your life. You're going to control yourself into a tiny box at this rate. But...You don't have too! :-) You can let go of control and learn to trust that God made the universe and that He controls everything and everything happens for a reason. Spend more time thinking about what you want in your life instead of what you don't want.


Q.) I get thoughts that something is not ok with myyy face not cosmetically but in symmetry

A.) Abraham Lincoln had a disease that made his face contorted, that is why he had the thick beard, to hide it. If not, it would have been completely noticeable. If other people arn't telling you that your face not even then your face is even. Be happy, you've got an even face! :-) I know that you may think, "ya, but..." forget that. Wait till a doctor tells you it's not even before you come to any conclusions.




Q.) I suffer from mental rituals. Rituals that are based on axiety situations in the past, for example 2½ years ago. I can\\\\\\\'t forget these situations where I had magical OCD-thoughts - thoughts where I had the feeling that I could make somebody say something wrong, an error, typically on the telly. However, I know that I don\\\\\\\'t have telepathic abilities :-), so I start obsessing about what was said during the anxiety situation. I start asking myself questions like \\\\\\\"Why did he/she say what he/she did say?\\\\\\\"; \\\\\\\"Why did he/she not say that\\\\\\\" etc - and I find it odd. I start wondering about things that can be answered by the general answer: people make mistakes. \\\\\\\"errare humanum est\\\\\\\". Sometimes the answer can be easy, but I can\\\\\\\'t get it out of my head: The OCD tells me to think about this \\\\\\\"odd experience\\\\\\\" in the past over and over again. I never find the \\\\\\\"solution\\\\\\\", the answer of the questions or find peace in my mind. It\\\\\\\'s very hard for me to say: I don\\\\\\\'t care about what happened or what did not happen during my axiety experience in the past. The unsolved questions often causes swallow problems, so that I can\\\\\\\'t enjoy eating and drinking. In this way I punish myself. I hope you can follow my story. Thank you for this forum.

A.) OCD is a problem that is created and manufactured in your head so you cannot solve it. You cannot because your brain will always add to it and make it more difficult like a game with harder and harder levels. The answer to the OCD problem is to not try to figure it out, but to instead learn how to think about productive things like what your passion is and what you are going to eat for dinner and how you are going to make the world a better place.



Q.) im a muslim and i get thoughts like for example if i do a particular act i will not remain a muslim , for example silly things like if i drive i will no longer be a muslim, although i know these are silly thoughts but iam not able to control it i really get disturbed by it and am really vwry worried plz help me my email:

A.) Being a muslim is a choice, it's not something that comes and goes. No matter wherever you go or what you do, you can always choose to be a muslim.



Q.) Hi, I think i suffer with Pure OCD but im finding it very hard to get a proper diagnosis.My main problems are getting stuck on bad thoughts for hours and sometimes i get a fear that im losing my mind and it brings on an anxiety attack.Very scary when it\\\'s bad.

A.) If you don't distract yourself from this thought pattern when it happens, it will just get worse. Do anything you can, put on a movie, call a friend, pet your dog/cat. You don't have to sit there and dwell on thoughts you don't like. We cannot control the thoughts that pop into our heads, but we can control what we focus on. :-)


Q.) hi... my ocd include performing rituals repeatedly fear of causing harm to others plz kindly give me suggestions to overcome it i wud be greatful to u my mail id is

A.) If you are worried that you going to harm someone, the chances that you would actually do it are slim to none. We all have thoughts that disturb us, it's just how we react to them that make the difference whether they bother us or not. Stop reacting out of fear, just because you think of something that does not mean that it's going to happen. Have you ever thought about sleeping with someone but never did it? Just because you had the thought, it does not mean that you would do it, thoughts and actions are completely seperate.



Q.) Hi, I have been told that I have several chemical imbalances, ocd adhd anxiety depression bipolar etc. I am sick of it. I\\\'m tired of the meds. I just don\\\'t believe God created me to suffer and have many chemical imbalances in my mind that he made. I take Vyvanse, celexa, klonopin. Not to mention all the other drugs they have tried me on and all the other meds I take for pain that is supposedly caused by fibromyalgia. Funny thing is I had not smoked in 8 years and after starting Vyvanse for adhd 1 year ago I have become a chain smoker and very impulsive, isn\\\'t that the opposite of what this med should do for you? I want to quit it all but I get this drive in me that won\\\'t leave me alone until I give in, I have also had other addiction problems in the past is this normal for ocd?

A.) Yes it is, I tried self medicating myself, it's only when I got off the drugs that I could actually beat it. Drugs just drug you up and mask the problem, it's still there. We really don't have a miracle cure yet, you actually still have to "work through" your habits of OCD. People absolutely hate doing any kind of mental work and would rather be drugged up than put any effort in. You are one of the rare people that will actually become OCD free as long as you continue with perseverance and patience. I would talk to your doctor about reducing your medications and weaning you off one at a time while sumultaneously working on the mental side of things with someone.



Q.) My name is. I live in Danmark and have Ocd- only Obessions since I was 30 years. Now I am 44- so many years. Because I \\\"only\\\" have Obessions - I doesent now how your program can work for me ( help me) ? What du you think? Please answer me? Thank you very much. I,m not soo good to english så please forgive me. email adress:

A.) My program has helped thousands of people all around the world to take back control of their own minds. Most people that buy my program never even get through the whole thing and never apply it. The few that actually do something with it and are patient and persistent succeed and they never again will have to suffer from OCD.




Q.) I am doing alot better, but I am often convinced that I am hitting cars, poles, mailboxes, etc. when driving. I also have to check locks 3x or I panic and I have to unplug appliances, etc. I have tried to quit smoking several times with little to no success. I am trying to determine if my OCD is making it more difficult to quit since I don\\\'t actually crave the nicotine but the action that goes with the smoking and I have an almost fear of quitting.

A.) Our brain fears change just because with the unknown comes potential danger and your brain is all about protecting you. Sometimes however, this response does not fit and can cause things like OCD behavior and habits. Each day you should do one thing that makes you scared such as checking the lock only once. Tell yourself that you won't check it for another ten minutes and let your body actually face the anxiety. Facing a fear is the only way to beat one. I was scared to go on an airplane until I actually went on one. No amount of talking or medication would help this, I actually had to face it by doing it.



Q.) i have a problem standing up for myself, i don\\\'t allow myself to feel the not so nice feeling such as anger and frustration and as a result people have stepped all over me i am afraid of my anger but am sick and tired of bottling up all the frustration, i need to be able to express myself freely, the fear paralyze me, i need help.

A.) My favorite quote from the movie vanilla sky says, "Every minute is a chance to turn it all around." Today, stand up for yourself, just today. Then tomorrow, if you dare, tell yourself the same phrase, "today, just today, stand up for myself."


Q.) A constant thought of dying, what will happen, when will it happen, knowing that everything i know will be gone, the unknown. Used to just be at night, now all through the day aswell, find it real hard to distract myself from the thoughts. BUt continuing to think about it makes me anxious, panicky, not sleeping, failing uni etc

A.) We cannot control when we die. We all will die. It's part of life. Don't spend the time you are alive worrying about the extremely short time it will take for you to actually die. Instead while you are alive, live! Write down some things that you've always wanted to do, then do them! :-)

Q.) I feel repulsed to touch anything that has come in contact with my grandfather(who died 9 yrs ago)after seeing him masturbate obsessively. This includes things that have toouched things that come from the house, and people who have touched something that touched something else etc!This is really not good for me as I cant even touch my mother or any things in her possesion, it makes me feel frozen and contaminated. Id be so grateful if you could give an opinion on this!Thanks

A.) Your mother bathes and cleans her clothes, anything that may have been on her is gone. You cannot know or prove whether something is or isn't on anything you touch, "what if you are worried about something on your mom and there was nothing the whole time?"