Question below!

Q.) hey derek, it\\\'s moy , ammmmmmm i feeling kinda shameful to share this part but today i was trying to dust off dusts or whatever dirty thing i saw as if it creeping in a little button on the couch, i kept on pushing my little fingers in the button trying to remove whatever went in and everytime i do it i kept on thinking it\\\'s still there because i feel something grainy or hard in it, so i kept on doing that not knowing my skin was rubbing against the couch and i started to bleed. even though i felt it was hurt i still wanted to do it again because all i want is it to be clean, derek, i hurt my hands and i sad about it.....i feel like i abuse muh self..... the way i think. i couldn\\\'t touch muh hands too much under water because of my skin peeled and burst and blood bled.....in my fingers........ 3 of my fingers...... that happened to me one time before i met u online when i was trying to dig up something that was sticking on the door of my bedroom........i end up rubbing the palm of my hands against the wooden door and even though it hurts i still continue ignoring the pain because i was trying to get rid of whatever it was sticking at the the door,,,,,,,anyway, i too shame to say this but ah saying it anyhow because i need your help, and i have been improving with the glasses u told me about, it was hard in the beginning with all the anxiety that i felt like drinking lots of water and eat just to get rid of the negative thoughts then again i conscious of my weight i then exercise sigh!!!!!!!! and the washing of my hands i improved on that a lot thank u so much derek........i just ever wonder derek. is GOD angry with in what i going through or is HE ignoring me..because i go through this ocd crap i hate ocd ,, i wish i never went throught this.....i wish it wasn\\\'t me because all my friends in church not going through this..... i can still go out and still have fun but objects does bother me geeeeeeeeeeeeeeese .... u know derek, i know my calling in life was to be a worship leader,,,,,,,,,i love to worship and dance but this thing i\\\'m going through i don\\\'t knnow how i\\\'m going to reaaach where GOD wants me to be.. and to do..........it\\\'s so much i going through.........i knoow GOD WORKING OUT THINGS IN MY LIFE BUT THIS OCD THING I FIND GOD NOT TAKING ME ON OR NOT ANSWERING MY PRAYER WELL AH SHOULDN\\\'T ANSWER THAT......... I MEAN I DIDN\\\'T KNOW I COULDA MEET U TO HELP ME.......... FOR SOMEONE LIKE U TO GO THROUGH THIS AND NOW U ARE FREE FROM OCD.......I GLAD U DID...........I HOPE U PRAY I DO TOO AND I HOPE U BELIEVE I CAN,,,,,I CRY A LOT BECAUSE EVEN THOUGH I LOVE WORSHIP AND WANTS TO REAACH TO THAT PLACE WHERE GOD WANTS ME TO BE , I THINK ABOUT THIS OCD THING THAT U KNOW THE ( IF) MONSTER WORD U SAID TO ME BEFORE I SHOULD STOP.......WHAT IF THIS OCD THING ONLY COMES BACK FROM TIME TO TIME........I \\\'M SCARED OF THIS IN MY LIFE.......DO I NEED DRUGS OR MEDICATIONS OR TABLETS.....BECAUSE I DON\\\'T WANT AND REFUSE TO TAKE TABLETS OR ANY KIND OF MEDICATIONS IN MY BODY BECAUSE OF THE CHEMICALS GOING IN MY BLOOD , ANYWAY, ENT I DONT NEED MEDICATIONS OR IS IT JUST I NEED TO RENEW MY THOUGHTS, DEREK. I WASN\\\'T LIKE THIS BEFORE . I NEVER USED TO DO THESE THINGS I WAS THIS CAREFREE PERSON MEANING I DIDN\\\'T CARE ANYTHING IN THIS WORLD I WAS LIKE THAT BEFORE I GAVE MY LIFE TO CHRIST BUT NOW WHENI I GAVE MY LIFE TO CHRIST I STARTED TO FEEL THERE IS HOPE THAT THERE IS A GOD AND HIS NAME IS JESUS ,SON OF THE LIVING GOD, BUT THEN I WENT THROUGH SOMETHING THAT WAS SPRITUAL AND I GOT DEPRESSED AND I FELT THERE \\\'S NO HOPE AND I FELT LIKE GOD NOT TAKING ME ON AND GOD DON\\\'T CARE ABOUT ME ANYMORE AND THENI STARTED BLAMING OBJECTS AROUND ME........IT\\\'S NOT LIKE I HAVE PEOPLE TO BLAME BUT I STARTED TO MAKE A BIG DEAL ABOOOOUT EVERYTHING,, I STARTED TO BRUSH MUH TEETH LONG AND RINSING MY CUP LOOOOOOOOONG OVER AND OVER AND TELLING MYSELF THE CUP NOT CLEAN .AH SEEING ALL KIND OF THINGS ..........AND THEN IT GOES ON LIKE THAT ON WITH OTHER AREAS OF MY LIFE........... NOT REALISING I OPENED MY HEART TO PETTY UNNECESSARY THINGS AROUND ME, BUILDING MY OWN STRONGHOLDS AND ONE DAY I FOUND THAT IT WAS SO HARD TO COME OOUT............THEN I NEVER GIVE UP I DIDN\\\'T KNOW I CAN LOOK UP ON THE INTERNET FOR HELP.....I TRIED IT ONE DAY AND I JUST TYPE OUT HOW TO OVERCOME CLEANING OBSESSIONS. AND THEN U CAME UP............ I TYPE OUT SOMETHING BEFORE BUT ALL KIND OF CRAZY THINGS POP AND THAT WASNN\\\'T WAT I WAS SEEKING FOR AND THEN U CAME UP AND I TRIED U AND YES U ARE HELPING ME.....I TRYING MY BEST TO APPLY WHAT U TELLING ME AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS COME OUT OF THIS PIT I\\\'M IN.......... SOMETHING I DID FOR MYSELF.......YES DEREK...I REALISE I CREATE THIS STRONGHOLD I FELT I REGRET I DID BUT NOW.........TIME FOR ME TO COME OUT... PLEASE ANSWEER MOY. BYE DEREK......U HAVE A GREAT DAY........ I DID N\\\'T KNOW U\\\'RE A CHRISTIAN.......I MEAN U BELIEVE I N GOD TOO THAT\\\'S GREAT.........I GLAD U DID!!!!!!!!! LOVE U ALWAYS........FROM MOY WITH CHRIST\\\'S LOVE

A.) God loves you Moy, I would really consider seeing your doctor and asking them if Citalopram is right for you. This medication is for cases that are a little bit tougher to crack, and I think this in conjunction with my program would be a more well rounded approach in your particular case. Go see your doctor this week and see what he feels about Citalopram.