Question below...

Q.) It\\\'s alot to type out, but basically I would like to know if it is really OCD or some sort of intellectual thing, or a combination. And, I am just at a point that I would like to either have a good use for this mental linguistic stuff that I do so well and automatically, or just completely stop doing it. A good or bad thing, basically. I sort letters in words, phrases, slogans, books, etc, and each letter has a weight that is too heavy to arrange in certain ways to stack them in combinations above other words I am tallying at the same time, and it has to feel right and look right and be completely balanced out befotre I am done. I get bored so easily, and this keeps me busy in those times, and I disect, rearrange, and put back together in difffrerent ways, sometimes needing them to be balanced out a certain way and sometimes just a need for some pizzazz. I use my fingers, teeth, and when alone, even my neck muscles to tap out the letters in their new positionings and arrangements. I also do art and pictures and shapes of 3D objects, even people, with tracings in my mind with my fingers or teeth, and count the pieces and trace over them with letters and put it all back together again or change it completely. I am 31 and this all started when I was about 7. I was Valedictorian in high school and also of my private Christian University. Now I am a stay home mom. Very tightly wound, perfectionist, over achiever, and my brain is constantly demanding to be busy and challenged. I can draw well and have been called artistic, but it frustrates me because I never have enough alone, quiet time to get it perfectly right.

A.) The best thing for you is to say to yourself, "I'm just too tired to do these rituals, I give up, I quit!" It's just too much, so much to the point that you just are too tired to do it. It's too overwhelming. Whenever you go to do one of your rituals, say to yourself, "This is not a productive thought, I choose to think about the things that I need to do." Just refuse to do rituals. Now you have had OCD for a long time so if you find the anxiety to be particularly tough, I would see a doctor and get on a good medication, only they can help you choose the right one. This will make it easier for you to do the legwork that it takes to reprogram the way your mind has been thinking for many years. You also have to be careful that you don't like your OCD because you may be used to it. Just overload yourself with it if you don't feel overwhelmed so that your brain can see a need for you to quit. I remember when it got so overwhelming for me that I just said, "I quit!" "I just can't keep up with my rituals anymore!" This should lay a good foundation for you to start on your road to healing.

(Questions are briefly answered here in this blog. I am currently creating a product that will answer these questions in great detail with "how to" step-by-step instructions and audio, so check for this in up coming e-mails!)

"Goodbye OCD!"